Just something I don't understand.
Oct. 16th, 2004 03:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mazz0626K, as anyone who knows me knows - and, let's face it, that's the sum total of people likely to be reading this - I have just come out of my first ever relationship, and it was a most unsatisfying and messy conclusion. Ignoring me for 3 months while I desperately do anything and everything I can to try and get him to acknowledge me for longer than it takes to say 'Is it important? I was asleep.' is neither justifiable, nor my fault. How the fuck does he manage to make me think that it is, whenever we talk? Ok, so that's only twice since July, but still. The plus side is that every time I DO speak to him he proves himself a little more worthy of having been dumped, and I don't feel so bad about it.
Anyway that's not the point. The point is, that with the notable exception of 4 or so months near the beginning of this year, I have been single for my entire life. I should be good at single. I've done single for a pretty damn long time. I know single inside out.
Why am I finding it so hard to adjust back to what is, really, normal?
The word 'kitten' is now tainted for me. 'Kkitten' even more so. Why do I deserve that? I can't even talk to my cat or adore ickle fluffy babies without thinking of him. I'll never be able to use it as an endearment for anyone else who may come along. Thanks for nothing, karma.
In other news, Poser is pissing me off. Hi-res textures should come out hi-res, surely? Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but
shouldn't come out as 
. Look at how much detail's lost! The busk looks like blobby buttons! This is not good. I'll ask the people over at PoserPros, but I know they'll say something vague and useless so there's little point but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Anyway that's not the point. The point is, that with the notable exception of 4 or so months near the beginning of this year, I have been single for my entire life. I should be good at single. I've done single for a pretty damn long time. I know single inside out.
Why am I finding it so hard to adjust back to what is, really, normal?
The word 'kitten' is now tainted for me. 'Kkitten' even more so. Why do I deserve that? I can't even talk to my cat or adore ickle fluffy babies without thinking of him. I'll never be able to use it as an endearment for anyone else who may come along. Thanks for nothing, karma.
In other news, Poser is pissing me off. Hi-res textures should come out hi-res, surely? Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but
shouldn't come out as . Look at how much detail's lost! The busk looks like blobby buttons! This is not good. I'll ask the people over at PoserPros, but I know they'll say something vague and useless so there's little point but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-10-17 12:21 am (UTC)I like your pretty picture it is nice
Love you arnty Mazzy.
Spider
no subject
Date: 2004-10-17 03:37 pm (UTC)Kick away... it might make him realise that he has made me this unhappy.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-18 12:04 am (UTC)I am happy that I make life nicer, It makes me happy to be important.
I love you arnty Mazzy
Spider